Update- me

So…

Not posted up here in a while. Why? WORK ATE MY LIFE!

Not had much time to do anything but eat, sleep and work. Even my family have seen little of me. RP, writing and life in general have had to take a back seat.

However, I have lunch times, that golden 45 min of the day that I can close the door and do something not work related. I have even stopped eating lunch to squeeze out a few extra minutes so I can write.

Been picking at my novel for weeks, there is also another chapter of Indebted ready to go I just need to correct it.

I came to a decision on my novel. I am going to take the plunge and approach an agent… or twenty.

Am I scared? Bloody terrified. I write for fun not for the marketable value. To have a labour of love boiled down to cold hard economics… I can already visualise the multiple rejection letters. Still, something in me won’t drop the idea. Until I see ‘No, this is shit,’ in print then I guess it won’t go away.

I also took on another project for the experience. I am one of the writers on a Skyrim mod. Never written scripts before but I am getting used to the format. Recently had one of the quests I worked on voiced. I can’t quite describe it, hearing your words not only read but acted… I had to sit down for a moment, then get a strong cup of tea.

Four of the 11 main quests in so far and we are getting into the swing of things. I say “we” as there are three others like me and a lead writer who coordinates all our efforts and ensures we don’t screw up the lore or the characterisation.

Working with other writers is also very odd. I am so used to going my own way, getting directed and then have to edit and even delete something I have spent precious time putting together- GAH!

Keeps me humble however and it is very interesting getting almost instant feedback on an idea or proposed dialogue. It’s also very much a case of quality over quantity. Every sentence needs to advance the questline. Every word spoken has purpose.

So, that’s me for the time being. Busy busy.    

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Random Post

So it’s been a settled week. Two months and a bit into my maternity leave and I am getting used to this double parenting thing. I was fine with having a 3-year-old and the house ticked over just fine in a nice even routine.

Son two has shattered this.

Example, was up from 4.30am to 6.30 am this morning because son two refused to go back to sleep after his early feed. Son 1 decided this would be a fine time to get up as Mummy and the baby was up. Thus he needed a nap after lunch today and this has thrown him off his bed time routine.

Still, I am adapting. It was not this hard last time round I am sure

Up side, writing! Got the best part of 7000 words done this week 😉

 

Thinking back to the heady days where my enthusiasm would pull me through entire nights of writing… I am kind of jealous of my younger self for having the time and energy to write 10000 words in 2 days. The creative juices are flowing again however and I’m slowly starting to gain confidence again.

Other things that have caught my attention this week.

  • Baby has started smiling and burbling at me. SO CUTE!!! Makes up for the sleep shattering 4am parties.
  • Father’s day is this Sunday. First time round that son 1 has had a say in what to get Daddy.
  • Rose perfume. I bought a small bottle of Jo Malone perfume. Pure red rose scent. It’s divine! Really takes me back to growing up in Wales. We had a huge rambling rose in our garden that was bright yellow and smelt amazing. My Gran killed it by pruning it too hard. She thought she was a fantastic gardener, the garden disagreed.
  • Lana Del Rey. I have like some of the tracks I have heard of hers over the last year but her contribution to the Great Gatsby soundtrack has ear wormed me. I cannot stop listening to Young and beautiful! I even wrote an entire scene with this track on constant repeat. Her voice blended into my head and it set the perfect tone for what I was writing. She is also stunningly beautiful. If I swung that way she would so be my type 😉 Also it’s not often that the lyrics of a song strike me. Lana’s songs are more like poetry set to music. Makes a nice contrast to the vacuous pop I also indulge in. Dark velvety chocolate for the ears.
  • GOING ON HOLIDAY! For the first time in 2 years. Alright it’s to a forest one and a half hours up the road but it’s still away.
  • Thinking of doing camp nanowrimo next month. Not sure if I can commit to it but it might be just what I need to get my novel finished. Laz’s idea (best pal) she says we could share a cabin 😉 We may kill each other.
  • Guild Wars 2. Have 3 characters on the go now. Am enjoying it but again have limited time to commit so not joined a guild or anything, just dipped in when I can. Laz may be hopelessly addicted and that’s my fault. I dragged her into it!

Reboot

echo ‘Server Rebooting…….’;
shell_exec(‘reboot’);
echo ‘<pre>$output</pre>’;

 

I LIVE!!!!

Yeah went quiet, but for some very good reasons…

 

1)  Had an inspection at work. Came through it fine btw but it was a MASSIVE amount of work as well, showing what I could do. The inspector I had contact with was very nice and even let me bend her ear in private over a pilot project I had invented, trialled and was now going to be used department wide after very positive pupil feedback. (Yes I win) I had also been rushed hospital with prem labour the week before- this involved the RAF and a helicopter ride… Following on from that…

2)  I gave birth. (Not prematurely I might add.) Yes I now have two beautiful boys. Love having a newborn in the house again. What I had forgotten about from last time was the mind numbing tiredness. Last time round when my son dozed off I could sleep too. This time, when son two dozes off I still have a 3yo to entertain and look after. Husband is a god send and we operate as a tag team. However he is still working and has not been well himself of late.

3)  Second born went back into hospital. Yep, week after he was born. He was not feeding properly and so could not maintain his body temperature. So me and him spent 3 days in a children’s ward. That was entertaining. I was still bleeding from the c section. Oh and that took forever to recover from too.

So taking all the above into consideration I have been quite stressed. So far 2013 has been a crappy year with only the birth of son two to lighten it. Let’s hope it now improves!

Things have settled now, yes I am tired but starting to feel better about things and I am enjoying not working. Maternity leave actually runs out next month so I am using savings etc to stay off longer. Feel I need the time with my family and I want to ensure my husband is better before I leave him to look after two children during the day.

As for me, I started writing again both my novel and Indebted, which is very close to getting wrapped up. When it is, perhaps I will be writing an epilogue for a certain story 😉

Update- me

OK so first day back at the coal face today after 6 weeks. It’s like I never left. Feel overall positive about the year ahead however. I think this will be a good academic year!


I do like my job, despite the long hours and stress of term time it is interesting. It never goes stale. I like what I teach and the pupils are always teaching me something new. Yes there are bad days and behaviour issues etc but what school does not have those? I am a little worried by the swing towards everyone having something wrong with them. Child a little slow to retain information, has to be dyslexia! Not fitting in with peers, Socially mal-adjusted, must intervene! Pupil does not like eating nuts, might be allergic!

I am not asking for a return of the days where learning difficulties or health issues were ignored. Many pupils need swift diagnosis and support.

As a dyslexic myself and a teacher I think I have a unique perspective and I believe things have gone too far.

People learn at different speeds and that is fine. Some pupils will never be popular, others will always be eccentric there is nothing wrong with this! These pupils don’t need a label. Also I feel labels can be counter productive. Some use it as an excuse. I don’t understand! I’m learing impaired!

My usual response to such comments is not pretty.

I had to fight for every grade I got with no support until the age of 18. I was diagnosed at 15 but there were no educational support structures in place for people like me at that time. Every exam was a battle of will on my part and I had a few good teachers that would not give up on me as well as good friends who would explain things to me and help me. Where does this attitude come from that if you have a label you are excused from even trying? That it excuses you from using your brain? Makes me so angry! yes I am bias I know, but sod it my blood boils when I hear crap like that.

 

Anyway enough vague rants about work. I can’t be specific about anything, nature of the job and all that but I do like to rant about it from time to time. It’s a large part of my life. Still I like to be careful too. I know my pupils have photos of me on their Facebook accounts but I never post anything like that online, even if it is part of my contract and common sense blah blah… people do daft stuff. I was reminded again yesterday about online conduct becoming of a teacher. In other words another idiot got disciplined for tweeting about pupils. Used names apparently.

So this holiday was a bit of a let down. Yes teachers get long hols etc but my summer was pants. I spent most of it either decorating, demolishing or repairing… (house renovations still continue.) Was also stuck for 10 days or so when son got chicken pox and right after that I wound up with an ear infection. Ear is still blocked and it’s driving me nuts!

 

Looking forward to october! Will definitely try to have a proper holiday then. Besides, when the weather in Scotland is like this….

Lovely day at local beach.

 

Who needs to leave home?

 

Might have time to work on Indebted soon but Winterwolves are releasing an expansion to Loren so I will prob be doing that all weekend. Oh, and marking, can’t forget that. No free weekends for the next few months. *shrug* I’m used to it.

Update- Indebted

OK latest chap stands at 12 pages and is currently sitting in Sherby betas inbox awaiting correction. I had to do a lot of rereading to pick up the thread again. It’s so stupidly long! I know I should have broken it up but meh what is done is done. It was just as easy to write as ever when I did get back into it. Three evenings of 2 hour sessions is all it took. Spirited Away was never that easy and my novel is also a slow goer. Then again, my novel is probably closer to my Spirited Away stuff than it is Indebted.

I’m looking forward to finishing my fanfictions… it’s time to move on. Now I must avoid the temptation to step into any other genre. I have toyed with the idea of starting others but I know i don’t do short stories or one-shots so am terrified of committing to anything new. Also my responsibilities at work are increasing. It appears now I have “sat on my rock” for four years (chinese proverb.) I’m suddenly considered someone who can get things done and am being groomed for greater things… reluctantly I might add.

I feel like a bit of a cheat. I have no burning desire for my career. I like it, but it does not consume me. It’s the same for my writing. I like writing but I have no ambition to achieve anything with it. The stories in my head simply need an outlet or I start daydreaming. (Not that I don’t do that anyway, but there is only a certain level of spacing out permissable in society and I can easily overstep that and start ignoring people altogether.)

So, new chap out soon. Will have to start going to work next week so I am all organised for the next term. This summer has been a bit of a trial. DIY in my new place and a sick toddler… almost looking forward to work.

Update- Me

YAY something from me personally! Shocking, I know. OK so I am on holiday and I have been writing. As readers of Indebted will know I am close to wrapping it up. 2 or 3 chapters and we are done. Another big chunk of my Fanfiction commitment dealt with. Now as far as Indebted goes I have something to tell you. It’s not the end of the story. It is AN end but it’s not THE end. If I wrote what I planned out 5 years ago I’d write another novel. As I am writing my own novel right now that is not feasible so I’m contenting myself to wrapping up my fanfictions and concentrating on my own work.

I highly doubt you will ever see me in print as I am writing purely to please myself but you never know… Anyway the novel stands at 10,000 words so far and probably falls into the category of post-apocalyptic fantasy. I’m trying to build a world that I find interesting. This is not an action story even though that seems to be a staple of the genre. The odd bit of violence will occur but it is in the background. My protagonist can’t even read never mind fight… the majority of the story is intrigue and politics. Not everyone’s cup of tea granted especially when I chuck in assassinations and demons 😉

Anyway, trying to unwind is proving difficult. Work seems to be haunting me still even though I’m half way through my second week of holiday. The family are well, though I’m finding it difficult to get used to husbands/sons social circle. I am far from a people person and simply do not seem to have much in common with other mothers.  They are normally nattering about fashion, shoes and how rotten men are. I think I might get infected with the cliché at any moment! I usually fix a grin on my face and did not speak unless spoken to. Nattering with hubbie has helped me put things in perspective. I think I worry about this fitting in thing too much. I’m strange; I accept that but don’t want to give my brand of crazy to my son…

Bah, people suck! Or is it just me? This is like high school all over again! Screw it. I’m me and I’m not going to apologise for it.