Update- me

So…

Not posted up here in a while. Why? WORK ATE MY LIFE!

Not had much time to do anything but eat, sleep and work. Even my family have seen little of me. RP, writing and life in general have had to take a back seat.

However, I have lunch times, that golden 45 min of the day that I can close the door and do something not work related. I have even stopped eating lunch to squeeze out a few extra minutes so I can write.

Been picking at my novel for weeks, there is also another chapter of Indebted ready to go I just need to correct it.

I came to a decision on my novel. I am going to take the plunge and approach an agent… or twenty.

Am I scared? Bloody terrified. I write for fun not for the marketable value. To have a labour of love boiled down to cold hard economics… I can already visualise the multiple rejection letters. Still, something in me won’t drop the idea. Until I see ‘No, this is shit,’ in print then I guess it won’t go away.

I also took on another project for the experience. I am one of the writers on a Skyrim mod. Never written scripts before but I am getting used to the format. Recently had one of the quests I worked on voiced. I can’t quite describe it, hearing your words not only read but acted… I had to sit down for a moment, then get a strong cup of tea.

Four of the 11 main quests in so far and we are getting into the swing of things. I say “we” as there are three others like me and a lead writer who coordinates all our efforts and ensures we don’t screw up the lore or the characterisation.

Working with other writers is also very odd. I am so used to going my own way, getting directed and then have to edit and even delete something I have spent precious time putting together- GAH!

Keeps me humble however and it is very interesting getting almost instant feedback on an idea or proposed dialogue. It’s also very much a case of quality over quantity. Every sentence needs to advance the questline. Every word spoken has purpose.

So, that’s me for the time being. Busy busy.    

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Holiday- Argyll Forest

So, no writing of late as I was on holiday, for the first time in two years! I might be a professional but if you work in the public sector the pay is not great, enough to keep my family though. We are a bit unusual as I work full time and my Husband is a stay at home Dad. Well, unusual on our little island anyway. Hubbie has had to face a bit of  gender discrimination but has handled it well (i.e. venting at me and twitter rather than the idiots who make thoughtless comments.)

Have been caught up in gaming too. Area X (indi title) and Guild Wars 2. Will review them both next week 😉

Also, Korean drama has once again sucked me in. Damn why is there nothing like this on Brit TV? Anyway Faith was one of the BEST things I have seen for a while. As long as you approach this stuff as a live action anime it’s all good. Again, will get round to a review on that one.

So, we went on holiday two hours up the road on the mainland, so still in Scotland.

Home for a week would be a static caravan on an Estate in the middle of the Argyll forest.

Husband was dubious. Being 6’7” he was sure he would have to spend all his time indoors hunching. I reassured him that he would fit.

So we got to the Estate and were greeted with this.

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IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! We live on the coast so a beach holiday would have been a bit like being at home. Mountains and forests however are a bit different and much more like where I grew up. The place was also exceptionally family orientated, which is what we needed.

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Play parks and open spaces everywhere.

The caravan I knew would be fine, but exceeded my expectations.

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Note very tall man could lie down on the sofa. The kitchen had a fan gas oven and was better than the kitchen at home!

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The estate was vast. Many a walk was taken with son 1 to burn his energy off. Everyone was friendly and total strangers stopped to chat to us.

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It was nice just to let our 3 year old run his legs off. He could not wait to go out every morning. Even the lure of the massive TV in the caravan could not compete. He gets plenty of outdoor time at home but we don’t have a garden and everything is, well, smaller… being an island and all.

The weather was dry mostly, but I had THE YELLOW COAT OF DOOM! I bought a proper breathable raincoat last month. My old one fell apart a few years ago and I’ve been making do with cheap shower proof things that just can’t stand up to the Scottish weather. My YELLOW COAT OF DOOM is obnoxious yellow, rainproof, windproof and warm but breathable so I can wear it in the summer and not sweat to death. Husband hates it, he thinks it’s ugly. It’s not meant to be bloody fashionable! Anyway I love it so I wear it.

Upshot of this is 3 yo and I went out all weathers.

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The landscape can be dark and brooding in bad weather but it’s still beautiful. I think and worth braving the rain for. Besides we had some good days, enough to have a BBQ!

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Sirloin steak on the BBQ. NOM! As long as it is not over cooked it’s lovely.

Ventured out of the estate mid-week when the weather really was miserable. Went by the ‘rest and be thankful’ that is a tiny square of land that is flat next to one of the most treacherous roads in Scotland. It’s always closing due to the landslides when it’s wet… yes I did know this before I set off. There is no way round this road if you wanted to head towards the central belt (mid Scotland). Well not entirely true, you could do an extra 150 miles and go north of it then back south again.

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3yo did not like the weather.

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So all this effort was to get to the Loch Lomond sealife centre. We thought 3yo would love it, as it turns out he loved it for 20 minutes then wanted ice-cream. Fickle wee thing!

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Guitar sharks are creepy (top pic) and Asian otters are tiny and cute!

Being on holiday with a new-born is an odd experience. No restful nights. He still needed his 3 overnight feeds and at times did not want to sleep at night. 3yo wants to be on the go all day and were are on holiday and don’t want to waste time indoors. It’s not easy to handle all this away from home but we managed. We needed a day to catch up on sleep mid-week and Husbands epilepsy played up due to the lack of sleep. This did sour things a bit as I was worried about him and he was worried her was ruining the holiday. 3yo set us straight and said he was having ‘good days.’

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Managed to take 3yo for longer and longer walks during the week. Our record was nearly 4km. Many a puddle was splashed in and we saw sheep! Real sheep! Much excitement from 3yo, but not from Mummy.

Mummy grew up on a hill farm. Mountain sheep with lambs and an excited 3yo are not a good combo. However, I managed to explain to him how to behave and if he listened to me we might even get close enough to have a peep at the babies.

It was odd how the old farming instincts kicked back in and how just through changing our body language the sheep went from startled and aggressive to passive and calm. 3yo was enchanted and wanted to take one home. Mummy said the day she could have a mini pig he could have a lamb….

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So a lovely week despite the trials. Will probably be going back for another visit. In fact Hubbie and I were eyeing up holiday home prices before we left. Can’t afford one but you never know when you might win the lottery or something… I live in hope. My maternity leave is going to put me 3 grand in debt as it is! Such is the joy of having children. They better pick me a bloody palatial nursing home when I go demented!

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Reboot

echo ‘Server Rebooting…….’;
shell_exec(‘reboot’);
echo ‘<pre>$output</pre>’;

 

I LIVE!!!!

Yeah went quiet, but for some very good reasons…

 

1)  Had an inspection at work. Came through it fine btw but it was a MASSIVE amount of work as well, showing what I could do. The inspector I had contact with was very nice and even let me bend her ear in private over a pilot project I had invented, trialled and was now going to be used department wide after very positive pupil feedback. (Yes I win) I had also been rushed hospital with prem labour the week before- this involved the RAF and a helicopter ride… Following on from that…

2)  I gave birth. (Not prematurely I might add.) Yes I now have two beautiful boys. Love having a newborn in the house again. What I had forgotten about from last time was the mind numbing tiredness. Last time round when my son dozed off I could sleep too. This time, when son two dozes off I still have a 3yo to entertain and look after. Husband is a god send and we operate as a tag team. However he is still working and has not been well himself of late.

3)  Second born went back into hospital. Yep, week after he was born. He was not feeding properly and so could not maintain his body temperature. So me and him spent 3 days in a children’s ward. That was entertaining. I was still bleeding from the c section. Oh and that took forever to recover from too.

So taking all the above into consideration I have been quite stressed. So far 2013 has been a crappy year with only the birth of son two to lighten it. Let’s hope it now improves!

Things have settled now, yes I am tired but starting to feel better about things and I am enjoying not working. Maternity leave actually runs out next month so I am using savings etc to stay off longer. Feel I need the time with my family and I want to ensure my husband is better before I leave him to look after two children during the day.

As for me, I started writing again both my novel and Indebted, which is very close to getting wrapped up. When it is, perhaps I will be writing an epilogue for a certain story 😉

Update- me

OK so first day back at the coal face today after 6 weeks. It’s like I never left. Feel overall positive about the year ahead however. I think this will be a good academic year!


I do like my job, despite the long hours and stress of term time it is interesting. It never goes stale. I like what I teach and the pupils are always teaching me something new. Yes there are bad days and behaviour issues etc but what school does not have those? I am a little worried by the swing towards everyone having something wrong with them. Child a little slow to retain information, has to be dyslexia! Not fitting in with peers, Socially mal-adjusted, must intervene! Pupil does not like eating nuts, might be allergic!

I am not asking for a return of the days where learning difficulties or health issues were ignored. Many pupils need swift diagnosis and support.

As a dyslexic myself and a teacher I think I have a unique perspective and I believe things have gone too far.

People learn at different speeds and that is fine. Some pupils will never be popular, others will always be eccentric there is nothing wrong with this! These pupils don’t need a label. Also I feel labels can be counter productive. Some use it as an excuse. I don’t understand! I’m learing impaired!

My usual response to such comments is not pretty.

I had to fight for every grade I got with no support until the age of 18. I was diagnosed at 15 but there were no educational support structures in place for people like me at that time. Every exam was a battle of will on my part and I had a few good teachers that would not give up on me as well as good friends who would explain things to me and help me. Where does this attitude come from that if you have a label you are excused from even trying? That it excuses you from using your brain? Makes me so angry! yes I am bias I know, but sod it my blood boils when I hear crap like that.

 

Anyway enough vague rants about work. I can’t be specific about anything, nature of the job and all that but I do like to rant about it from time to time. It’s a large part of my life. Still I like to be careful too. I know my pupils have photos of me on their Facebook accounts but I never post anything like that online, even if it is part of my contract and common sense blah blah… people do daft stuff. I was reminded again yesterday about online conduct becoming of a teacher. In other words another idiot got disciplined for tweeting about pupils. Used names apparently.

So this holiday was a bit of a let down. Yes teachers get long hols etc but my summer was pants. I spent most of it either decorating, demolishing or repairing… (house renovations still continue.) Was also stuck for 10 days or so when son got chicken pox and right after that I wound up with an ear infection. Ear is still blocked and it’s driving me nuts!

 

Looking forward to october! Will definitely try to have a proper holiday then. Besides, when the weather in Scotland is like this….

Lovely day at local beach.

 

Who needs to leave home?

 

Might have time to work on Indebted soon but Winterwolves are releasing an expansion to Loren so I will prob be doing that all weekend. Oh, and marking, can’t forget that. No free weekends for the next few months. *shrug* I’m used to it.

Update- Me

YAY something from me personally! Shocking, I know. OK so I am on holiday and I have been writing. As readers of Indebted will know I am close to wrapping it up. 2 or 3 chapters and we are done. Another big chunk of my Fanfiction commitment dealt with. Now as far as Indebted goes I have something to tell you. It’s not the end of the story. It is AN end but it’s not THE end. If I wrote what I planned out 5 years ago I’d write another novel. As I am writing my own novel right now that is not feasible so I’m contenting myself to wrapping up my fanfictions and concentrating on my own work.

I highly doubt you will ever see me in print as I am writing purely to please myself but you never know… Anyway the novel stands at 10,000 words so far and probably falls into the category of post-apocalyptic fantasy. I’m trying to build a world that I find interesting. This is not an action story even though that seems to be a staple of the genre. The odd bit of violence will occur but it is in the background. My protagonist can’t even read never mind fight… the majority of the story is intrigue and politics. Not everyone’s cup of tea granted especially when I chuck in assassinations and demons 😉

Anyway, trying to unwind is proving difficult. Work seems to be haunting me still even though I’m half way through my second week of holiday. The family are well, though I’m finding it difficult to get used to husbands/sons social circle. I am far from a people person and simply do not seem to have much in common with other mothers.  They are normally nattering about fashion, shoes and how rotten men are. I think I might get infected with the cliché at any moment! I usually fix a grin on my face and did not speak unless spoken to. Nattering with hubbie has helped me put things in perspective. I think I worry about this fitting in thing too much. I’m strange; I accept that but don’t want to give my brand of crazy to my son…

Bah, people suck! Or is it just me? This is like high school all over again! Screw it. I’m me and I’m not going to apologise for it.